InuYasha The Detective
by SesshoumaruFanCall911
Summary: InuYasha is a Detective. Why he is a Detective is unknown. But InuYasha must stop an obsessed fangirl from kidnapping Sesshoumaru! My first fic please come join my stupid fun! Please, please, please, please....Rated PG13 for language. *Chapter 4 up*
1. Case 1 The Bishounen Kidnapper! Part 1

This is my first fic and it's basically about InuYasha as a Detective but has damn near no plot it's  
  
just stupid fun. Oh, and yes, I welcome flames. THE FLAMES! THE FLAMES! BURN! BURN MY PRECIOUS   
  
FLAMES! BWAHAHA! Ahem, on with the fic! Oh and please review! Please please please please   
  
please please please please.......  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the InuYasha characters, I write fanfics for fun not profit, blah blah   
  
blah you know the drill.  
  
Case #1 - The Bishounen Kidnapper Part 1  
  
  
  
Inu narrating: *His Detective hat is tipped down so you can't see his face and is speaking in a   
  
strange brooklyn accent* It was a day like any other, the birds were singing until the Youkai   
  
killed them, flowers were dying, and Kilala took a crap in my shoes. But what wasn't usual was   
  
the girl who came in to my detective agency, she had legs that........*Kagome whispers   
  
something in his ear* wait a minute, that was a guy? Aw man. There goes my Saturday night   
  
dinner plans. Anyway he came in my office asking for my help.......  
  
Sesshoumaru: I've heard of men all over the countryside being kidnapped by an obsessed woman,   
  
and I fear I might be next! You must help me!  
  
Inu: *Still speaking in that Brooklyn accent* So, you want me to protect you huh?  
  
Sess: Stop that!  
  
Inu: *Regular voice* Sorry.  
  
Sess: Uh-huh.  
  
Inu: Okay I'll protect you. But first I want you to tell me if you can think of anyone who might   
  
be the one doing it.  
  
Sess: If I knew don't you think I would have killed her by now?  
  
Inu: Uh, good point. Anyway our next step is to...um....to, what the hell was it again?! *Takes out  
  
a book entitled: Perry Mason The Case Of The Missing Case* Let's see, *Flips pages*   
  
Mo-tive, uh.....ev-i-dence, oh here it is! Step number one: Don't you know anything you   
  
stupid hanyou?! Grrrr.....that's the last time I buy a book from that librarian   
  
Kouga......*mumble, mumble* always writing stupid anecdotes in it.....  
  
Sess: Are you gonna help me or not?  
  
Inu: Of course I will! *Whispers* Stupid job.......  
  
Sess: What was that?  
  
Inu: Nothing!  
  
*Suddenly InuYasha's secretary, Kagome, walks in*  
  
Kagome: InuYasha, your four o'clock dental appointment has been moved to tomorrow at five.  
  
Inu: Damnit. WHY WON'T ANYONE TOUCH MY TEETH?! Just because I never brush them......  
  
*Kagome leaves*  
  
Sess: Hey that secretary of yours is quite cute....  
  
*Inu hits Sess on the head with his desk*  
  
Inu: YOU BASTARD! DON'T EVER, EVER TALK ABOUT KAGOME LIKE THAT AGAIN!  
  
Sess: *Laying on the floor and holding his head in pain* Sorry.  
  
Inu: Now let's get back to business. I want five jewel shards as payment.  
  
Sess: FIVE? But I don't have ANY.  
  
Inu: Then I won't help you.  
  
Sess: But I'm your brother!  
  
Inu: So? I want jewel shards damnit! I ain't gonna do it oughtta the goodness of my heart!  
  
Sess: Fine. *Takes out a sequined purse and counts out five jewel shards* There! Now, that you   
  
have your damn payment, can we go back to protecting me from the evil woman?  
  
Inu: .......You.....carry a sequined purse?  
  
Sess: Yes, is that illegal?  
  
Inu: It should be.  
  
Sess: What about my case?  
  
Inu: Oh yeah I forgot. We should probably go check out the crime scenes.  
  
Sess: Um, Okay....  
  
*Somewhere in Feudal Japan*  
  
Inu: *Looking at ground through a giant eyeglass* Hm, these look like footprints.  
  
Sess: Yes InuYasha, I keep telling you, they're yours......  
  
Inu: *Puts giant eyeglass away* Oh. Well, next we question witnessess!  
  
Sess: There aren't any.   
  
Inu: Well, did any of the victims have anything in common?  
  
Sess: I don't know. Let's see..... Bankotsu, Kouga, Naraku.......  
  
Inu: Oh my God! She's kidnapping bishounen!  
  
Sess and Kag thinking: Naraku's a bishounen?  
  
Inu: We must act quickly before this....this....rabid fangirl kidnaps more of those poor   
  
helpless bishounen!  
  
Sess: I am not helpless!  
  
Inu: Oh? Then why did you come to me asking for my help?  
  
Sess: *Pouts and looks away*  
  
Kag: InuYasha, why don't we set a trap for the kidnapper?  
  
Inu: Aha! Brilliant deduction! Glad I thought of it.....  
  
Sess and Kag: *Sweatdrop*  
  
Inu: *Gets evil look on face* Seessshoouummaaruuuuuuu.......  
  
Sess: No! Oh please God no! You're supposed to protect me!!  
  
Inu: I can't protect you unless I find the girl.....  
  
*After dark in the middle of some field*  
  
Sess: *Tied to a chair and has tape covering his mouth and has a sign across his chest which   
  
reads "I am a bishounen. Please kidnap me, oh mighty fangirl!* Iam grmphh kuu mnooswa!   
  
*TRANSLATION - I will get you for this InuYasha!*  
  
Inu: *Smirking* Yeah, yeah. Kagome, let's hide and wait for the obsessed fangirl.  
  
Kag: Okay!  
  
*They hide behind a nearby bush*  
  
Inu whispering: Okay all ready! Come on out you sick woman!  
  
*They wait until they hear someone coming*  
  
Inu whispering: All right, this is it!   
  
*Kaede steps out of the shadows*  
  
Inu whispering: *Throws head back and looks disappointed* Aw man it's just Kaede!  
  
Sess: Akkfdfa sfhahkmppphhh! *TRANSLATION - Hey let me loose!*  
  
Kaede: No I will not go out with you.  
  
Sess:*Looking really mad* Mmmphh yuiiugijb hjggh! *TRANSLATION - That's not what I said!*  
  
Kaede: Sorry I won't do it even if you do beg. *Leaves*  
  
Inu: *Sweatdrop* Geez that was creepy.  
  
Kag: *Sweatdrop* I didn't know Kaede was so...lonely.  
  
*Another person comes their way*  
  
Rin:....?  
  
Sess: Ohhmmfkha aufauifh sayhfiauhf! *TRANSLATION - Oh my God Rin! I'm so happy to see you!*  
  
Rin....?  
  
Inu Whispering: No, sweet little Rin can't be the kidnapper! Tell me she's not the kidnapper!  
  
Kukukuku......what a cliffhanger, eh? Please PLEASE review, this is my first fic and I WANT SOME   
  
REVIEWS OR I WILL SMITE YOU! Ahem anyway, tell me what you think of my story. Just who IS   
  
the Bishounen Kidnapper? Is it Rin? Could it somewhow still be Kaede? Who knows? Me,   
  
that's who! Stay tuned for part two of The Bishounen Kidnapper!   
  
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough, cough* HAHAHAHA! 


	2. Case 1 The Bishounen Kidnapper! Part 2

OH-MY-GOD I actually kinda gave this a plot! Good for me. ^_^ I didn't even think that I'd get ANY  
  
reviews so I would like to thank my 3 lovely reviewers for liking my fic and reviewing it! Thank   
  
you Wolf demon Queen of Nonsense, Mika and IceDragon! PS: Sorry it took me so long to update, I  
  
have to share the computer with my mom. Grrrr.  
  
Disclaimer - See Chapter #1   
  
last line from previous chapter-  
  
Inu whispering: No, sweet little Rin can't be the kidnapper! Tell me she's not the kidnapper!  
  
Now we continue.......  
  
Case #1 - The Bishounen Kidnapper! Part 2  
  
Sess: hfgf fgrfegfes fherger! *TRANSLATION - Oh my God Rin, what are you doing?!!*  
  
*Rin takes out a bag of M&M's from Sesshoumaru's pocket*  
  
Sess: ...........?  
  
*Rin leaves*  
  
Sess: JJDFGF HRHGHG SGRHR! RJH ERHGRHEGRHJW! RDH ASDHDWHDGSJDGJHS JD SHDSH!   
  
*TRANSLATION - NO, FOR-THE-LOVE-OF-GOD, NO! NOT THE M&M'S! I HAD TO PAY $1.29 FOR THOSE!*  
  
Inu: Isn't that freak ever gonna show?  
  
Kag: *Shrugs*  
  
Inu: Well it's really pissing me off!! *Turns to see that Sess, chair and all, is gone*  
  
Kag: Oh no, we missed it!   
  
Inu: Now we'll never know who the Bishounen Kidnapper is!  
  
Kag: Not necessarilly look! *Points*  
  
Inu: *Looks to where Kag is pointing*  
  
Kag: The kidnapper left a trail of Sesshoumaru's M&M's. Gee, Sesshoumaru must really love   
  
those..........see InuYasha, I told you we'd find something! *Runs*  
  
Inu: Hey, wait for me Kagome! *Runs after her*  
  
Later at a secret cave of an unknown location  
  
Kouga: These chains are kinda tight.  
  
Naraku: *Also chained up on the wall and is wearing a shirt that says 'Feed me at your own risk.'* AT   
  
LEAST YOU WEREN'T SUBJECTED TO........um, nevermind.  
  
Bankotsu: Can I recite my poetry now?  
  
Nar & Kouga: NO!  
  
*They hear the kidnapper coming so they shut up*  
  
Bankotsu: Hey you're back! Will YOU let me recite my poetry?  
  
*The kidnapper is hiding in the shadows with a long hooded cape covering the kidnapper's face.*  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: For the last time, NO!  
  
Bankotsu: Awww.....and this was a good one too.....  
  
Kouga: Can we eat now?  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: NO!  
  
Naraku: I want a hamburger.....with pickles on it!  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: WE ARE NOT HAVING BURGERS!  
  
Naraku: Awww, but I'm hungry.....  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!  
  
15 minutes later....  
  
Bankotsu: *Reading from a piece of paper* and the blood was thick like......  
  
Naraku: *Trying to chew off his wrists* STOP IT YA STUPID SON-OF-A-BITCH!  
  
Kouga: SHUT UP BANKOTSU! NOONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STUPID POEMS!  
  
Bankotsu: *Starts crying*  
  
Sess: Afhsa, safh, kf f fa fjahf.   
  
*TRANSLATION - There, there, I'm sure they didn't mean it.*  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: *Rubbing temples on forehead* Why did I bother to kidnap these freaks? I could've  
  
been in the Virgin Islands with Hannibal Lecter.  
  
Even later....  
  
Sess: Huyyf yutyfyf y yrtd!   
  
*TRANSLATION - Let me oughtta here!  
  
Evil Unknown kidnapper: *Eating Sess's M&M's* Mjhghg hgj.   
  
*TRANSLATION - Um...no.*  
  
Naraku: *Asleep and snoring*  
  
Bankotsu:..........?  
  
Kouga: Oh God, mutt-face please come kill me!  
  
Sess: *Sobs* Mdsjf fjdhfjh......   
  
*TRANSLATION - M-my M&M's....*  
  
  
  
Much, MUCH later....  
  
Naraku: *Still asleep and snoring*  
  
Kouga: Can we eat NOW?  
  
Bankotsu: Shut up.  
  
Sess: Mdfhjf sfhdsf dfdhfs!   
  
*TRANSLATION - (If you're that hungry, eat Bankotsu!)*   
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: *Rips the tape off of Sess's mouth*  
  
Sess: OW, FUCK!  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: *Slaps Naraku until he wakes up.*   
  
Naraku: *Sleepy* ......Huh?   
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: WAKE UP! *Slaps him again*  
  
Kouga: Hey, over here! I'm still hungry! I wanna eat NOW!  
  
Naraku: *Looks at Kouga and licks lips* Mmmm....is it time to eat?  
  
Kouga: *Sweatdrop* ^_^U Uh, I'll just go over here now. *Scooches away from Naraku*  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: Here, have a banana monkey boy.  
  
Naraku: *Munching* Thanks.  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: *Taps fingers together evilly* Ah, soon I will be recieving the ransoms from  
  
all of your families. I can't wait for yours to come Naraku. I'm sure your children are just  
  
DYING to get you back!  
  
Naraku: *Stops munching* Children?  
  
Kouga, Bankotsu, and Sess: DYING TO GET HIM BACK?!  
  
Naraku: *Laughs* HAHAHAHAHA! They're not my children, they're my attachments! Hey, did you send the   
  
ransom note to Juuroumaru or Musou?  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: *Looks away* Maybe.  
  
Naraku: *Still laughing* Juuroumaru is dead, and I already absorbed Musou! HAHAHAHA!  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: Absorbed? Oh. Well, I'm sure those other two, Kagura and Kanna, will take care   
  
of the payment themselves.  
  
Naraku: *Pauses* I'm screwed.  
  
At Bankotsu's tribe   
  
Jakotsu: Someone kidnapped Bankotsu? I must go save him!  
  
*Renkotsu hit's him on the head with a rock*  
  
Jakotsu: @__@  
  
Renkotsu: Nobody's gonna go save him. Let him suffer for a while, they could probably think of worse   
  
things to do to him then we could.  
  
Jakotsu: Not necessarily....  
  
Renkotsu: Well anyway we've recieved another letter, this one is from Kagura and Kanna.....  
  
  
  
At the secret cave of an unknown location  
  
Naraku thinking: I wonder how much money I'm worth to Kagura and Kanna......   
  
At Naraku's Castle  
  
Kagura: *Blows party whistle*  
  
Kanna: *Waves a flag that reads: Bye Naraku, we'll miss you......NOT!*  
  
*Juuroumaru and Jakotsu are holding a limbo stick while Kagura does the limbo, and all of Kagewaki's   
  
servants are waiting in the limbo line, along with Renkotsu.*   
  
Kanna: *Monotone* Kagura, do you think Naraku will mind that we used the Shikon jewel shards to   
  
ressurrect Juuroumaru and that we are having a party?   
  
Kagura: How's he gonna know? He's not coming back! HAHAHA LIMBO TIME!  
  
At the secret cave of an unknown location  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: Well, I still have Sesshoumaru!  
  
Sess: *Sarcastically* You have no idea what you're doing, do you?  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: *Lowers head* No.  
  
At Sess's castle in the Western lands  
  
Jaken thinking: *Reading ransom note* Hm. Bring me 50,000 Peso's in return for your beloved Sesshoumaru.  
  
*Pauses* What the hell's a Peso?  
  
*Rin walks in*  
  
Rin: What you read, Jaken?  
  
Jaken: *Crumbles up paper and throws it away* Oh, nothing.  
  
At the secret cave of an unknown location  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: I still have Kouga!  
  
At Kouga's wolf-demon tribe   
  
Wolf-demon #1: *Chewing on the ransom note* What IS this?  
  
Wolf-demon #2: Is it something to eat?  
  
Wolf'demon #1: I don't know. *Swallows it* But it tastes weird.  
  
At the secret cave of an unknown location  
  
Evil unknown kidnapper: WELL I CAN ALWAYS KIDNAP SOMEONE ELSE!!!  
  
*Inu and Kag barge in*  
  
Inu: *Looks suprised* Oh my God......  
  
Kag: *Looks suprised too* I...I can't believe it's you......  
  
BWAHAHA another cliffhanger! I'm SOOO evil! Okay time to review. Basically either flame or say that you   
  
like it so far. But you still have to review! I COMMAND THEE! Um, I should probably stop writing   
  
now...... 


	3. Case 1 The Bishounen Kidnapper! Part 3

Ah another lovely chapter from my warped mind.......  
  
Voice in Authoress' head #1: Your mind is NOT warped!  
  
voice in Authoress' head #2: Shut up. It is too!  
  
voice in Authoress' head #3: *Sniff, sniff* Do I smell chicken?  
  
voice in Authoress' head #1 & #2: SHUT UP!  
  
=^_^=U Uh, eh heh heh......I'll start the fic now.......  
  
Disclaimer - If you don't believe that I do not own InuYasha, see Chapter #1  
  
last lines from previous chapter:  
  
Inu: *Looks suprised* Oh my God......  
  
Kag: *Looks suprised too* I...I can't believe it's you......  
  
Now we continue.....  
  
Case #1 - The Bishounen Kidnapper! Part 3  
  
Inu: This is just TOO creepy!  
  
Kag: *Too shocked to move*  
  
Inu: *Notices Kag isn't moving* What's the matter?  
  
Kag: I think it's......*Takes off Evil Unknown Kidnapper's hooded cape* It is! It's...it's HOJO!  
  
*Hojo is wearing the remnants of a USED mop on his head, has on blue eyeshadow, ALOT of blush, and bright  
  
red lipstick which makes him look like a hooker, and is wearing a pink and white kimono with   
  
light purple flowers on it.*  
  
Inu: Who's Hojo? That freaky crossdresser that's wearing the mop on his head?  
  
Kag: Uh...yeah.....  
  
Hojo: *Speaking in a creepy anime villain voice, much like Naraku* Yes Kagome......you feined being   
  
sick so much, and I brought you so much presents, that my family went broke! And now......I   
  
must get money for my family........kukukuku......  
  
Kag: Hojo you need help.  
  
Sess: Yeah! Don't be a cheapskate and use a mop, just buy a damn wig!  
  
Everyone: *Stares at Sess*  
  
Sess: What?  
  
Kag: Um, Hojo? Why did you dress up like a girl?  
  
Hojo: I AM A GIRL! And my name's not HOJO is HOJINA! *Starts dancing around the room* Lalalalalalala.....  
  
Hojina......  
  
Bankotsu: *Holds out a 5 Dollar bill* Um, Hojina? Can I have a lap-dance?  
  
*Hojo walks over*  
  
Bankotsu: *Sweatdrop* =^_^=U Um....I was just kidding.  
  
Sess singing: YEAH, YEAH! DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY! YEAH, YEAH!  
  
*Hojo joins in*  
  
Hojo and Sess singing: YEAH, YEAH! DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY! YEAH, YEAH!  
  
Everyone: *Stares and has sweatdrops going down their heads*  
  
Hojo and Sess: What?  
  
Everyone: Nothing.  
  
Inu: By the way Sesshoumaru, I thought you told me the kidnapper was a woman?  
  
Sess: Yes, and I also told you that there weren't any witnesses. I took an educated guess, okay? When  
  
I heard that guys were going missing, I just figured it was some obsessed woman.  
  
Inu: So you lied to me?!  
  
Sess: Not LIED, I was just mistaken, that's all. But hey ya gotta admit, he's a pretty good knock-off.  
  
Inu: *Sweatdrop* You just keep getting weirder, and weirder, and weirder......  
  
Naraku: Can I have another banana?  
  
Hojo: Sorry, I'm all out.  
  
Naraku: *Starts sobbing to himself* Nawaku wanna banana.......  
  
Inu: *Takes out Tetsusaiga* Well it's all over now! You're gonna pay for this! *Lunges at Hojo*  
  
Sess: Yeah, get him InuYasha!  
  
Inu: *Stops and stares at Sess* Oh really? You WANT me to kill him? *Puts Tetsusaiga away* Maybe I'll   
  
just let him keep you.  
  
Naraku: =^_^= Hey, what about us? You ARE gonna save US aren't you?  
  
Inu: *Has dumbfounded look on face but quickly turns into an evil smile* Nevermind Hojo, you can have   
  
Sesshoumaru, AND Naraku, AND DEFINATELY BANKOTSU, and please, PLEASE, take that damn Kouga......  
  
Sess: INUYASHA I PAID YOU!!  
  
Inu: I know. You paid up front. That was REALLY stupid.  
  
Sess: INUYASHA!!!  
  
*Hojo throws some strange-looking net over Inu and Kag*  
  
Inu: *Tries to rip it, but it just electrocutes him* Wh-what the hell is THIS thing?!  
  
Hojo: It's an Electro-Net.  
  
*Kag touches the net*  
  
Kag: *ZAP* Ow. *Shakes hand off*  
  
Inu: *Sarcastically* That's probably why it's called an ELECTRO-NET.  
  
Kag: Shut up.  
  
Inu: IRON REVERE SOUL STEALER!!!.......Huh?!  
  
*The Electro-Net doesn't have a scratch on it. In fact, it looks like Inu just made it shinier*  
  
Hojo: *Super evil villain voice* KUKUKUKU! The Electro-Net is impossible for human, hanyou, or   
  
youkai to break! KUKUKUKU!  
  
Naraku: Hey, stop stealing my laugh! Kukukuku......  
  
Hojo: I can steal it if I want to. Oh, and don't you recognize this net? I stole THAT from you too.  
  
Inu: Naraku?! You made this damn thing?!  
  
Naraku: *Lowers head in dissapointment* It was for MY scheme. I didn't think anyone would steal it.....  
  
I cleverly hid it under my "Welcome" mat....*Sniff, sniff* it was right next to my spare key.....  
  
Kag: Well Inuyasha, you just HAD to stop in the middle of the battle and get us captured didn't you? Got   
  
anymore bright ideas?  
  
Inu: I'm thinking, I'm thinking. Oh, how 'bout we let him ransom off the guys?  
  
Kouga: AND THEN WHAT?!  
  
Inu: Nothing. We just let him ransom you off.  
  
Kag: That's not a plan!  
  
Inu: Well, I haven't thought it all the way out yet!  
  
Kouga: Your ideas suck!  
  
Hojo: Uh, you guys do realize that I can hear you, right?  
  
Ah another cliffhanger! That's right, I'm torturing you. You have to wait another chapter to find out   
  
what happens! Is Hojo going to win this scheme? Will someone come save them? BWAHAHA find out   
  
next time on InuYasha the Detective! I must go now, the voices are calling me................. 


	4. Case 1 The Bishounen Kidnapper! Part 4

Ah, it is time......TIME FOR THE DRAMATIC ENDING TO THIS CASE! HAHAHAHA!  
  
Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father.....  
  
Oops, that's the wrong story.   
  
Disclaimer - If you actually bother reading these things just take a look at the disclaimer on   
  
Chapter #1   
  
Okay, now that that's over.....on with the fic! Um, yay? Oh, and yes, I really, REALLY hate Hojo......  
  
Last lines from previous chapter:  
  
Kouga: Your ideas suck!  
  
Hojo: Uh, you guys do realize that I can hear you, right?  
  
Now we continue.......  
  
Case #1 The Bishounen Kidnapper! Part 4  
  
Naraku: Snnooorree.......mommy I don't wanna fly a kite.......there's lightning outside......  
  
Kag: InuYasha, are you gonna think of a plan or do I have to do it?  
  
Inu: I already TOLD you, we let him ransom off.....  
  
Kag: Fine, I'LL do it.  
  
Hojo: Why isn't anyone bringing me any ransom money?  
  
Inu: *Innocently* Maybe you sent the notes to the wrong addresses.  
  
Hojo: SHUT UP! MY HANDWRITING IS LEGIBLE! *Takes out a piece of paper* See?  
  
Sess: Mhf nywm os Hokol. Huh? You call this legible? What the hell does it say, anyway?  
  
Hojo: It SAYS, 'My name is Hojo.'  
  
Kag: *Sweatdrop* I thought you were Hojina.  
  
Inu: *Takes out a hypnotic coin and swings it back and forth, back and forth....* Watch the pretty   
  
coin.......Listen to nothing but the sound of my voice.......Let it entice you.......You are   
  
getting sleepy, very, VERY sleepy.....no, I mean....you will obey my every command....  
  
Hojo: *Hypnotized* I will obey your every command....  
  
Inu: Yes. You were about to let us go....  
  
Hojo: *Walks over to Inu* I was about to let you go.....*Pulls out a strange technical-looking-mumbo-  
  
jumbo-thing with wires sticking out of it and has a piece of tape across it that reads: "Remote   
  
to Electro-Net. DO NO TOUCH."*   
  
Kag thinking: Oh my God it's working!  
  
Inu thinking: That's right just a little closer....  
  
Hojo: *Stops in his tracks* Did you really think I'd fall for that?  
  
Kag: Well, yeah.  
  
Inu: Damn! That's the last time I try to use anything from that stupid "How to Hypnotize Anyone"   
  
instructional video by Bill Gates. That's how he got me to buy the damn thing!  
  
Kag: Do you suppose that's what he used to get people to buy Microsoft stock?  
  
Inu: Do you think that's what he uses to get......  
  
Hojo: SHUT UP! IT'S TIME TO COLLECT MY BOUNTY! *pretends he has a gun and strikes a pose....like Faye  
  
Valentine*  
  
Sess: Bounty?  
  
Kag: I think you've been watching too many episodes of Cowboy Bebop.  
  
Inu: Uh-huh.  
  
Hojo: ACK! NO! DON'T DO THAT!  
  
Inu: Huh? *Turns around*  
  
*Suddenly a flash of light attacks the Electro-Net and then mysteriously disappears*  
  
Inu: *Touches Electro-Net, Electro-Net falls apart* I...I think something broke it....  
  
Kouga: *Sarcastically* Wow, you must be a GENIUS!  
  
*Kag feels something furry rubbing against her leg*   
  
Kag: EEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT IS RUBBING   
  
AGAINST MY LEG?! *Glares at Kouga*  
  
Kouga: Don't look at me! *Looks at Inu*   
  
Inu: What?! I didn't do it!  
  
Kag: Eeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It-it's still against my leg!  
  
Inu: *Looks down at her leg and snickers* Um, Kagome maybe you should actually LOOK at it.  
  
Kag: Huh?  
  
*Kag looks down*  
  
Buyo: Meow?  
  
Kag: *Smiling* Buyo! *Picks up Buyo* Huh?.....Why are you wearing a red cape? *Reads back of cape*   
  
"Super Buyo", what the hell is this?  
  
Inu: That stupid cat did this?!  
  
Kag: *Pets Buyo* Buyo did you save us?  
  
Buyo: Puurrrr. Meow.  
  
Kag: Aw, thank you Buyo! *Hugs him*  
  
*Buyo snuggles against her chest*  
  
Inu: *Twitch. Twitch*  
  
Hojo: THAT CAT HAS TO DIE!!! I WILL DEFEAT YOU IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE BECAUSE I AM.....SAILOR MOON!!!  
  
Bankotsu: What the hell has HE been smoking?  
  
Naraku: A CAT broke my Electro-Net?  
  
Kouga: *shrugs* I guess.  
  
Sess: Well that Hojo girl said that Youkai, Hanyou, and humans can't break the Electro-Net. That cat   
  
isn't any of those, it's an animal.  
  
Hojo: I AM NOT A GIRL!  
  
Sess: But you said that....  
  
Hojo: *Holds head* SHUT UP! SHUT UP! *Pulls an axe out of his kimono* YOU MUST DIE YOU STUPID CAT!  
  
*Hojo runs at Buyo with the axe, and Buyo jumps at Hojo's face biting and clawing*  
  
Buyo: MEOW!  
  
Hojo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET  
  
OFFA ME! GET OFFA ME! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Kouga: Yeah!  
  
Sess: Get him!  
  
Bankotsu: GO SUPER BUYO!  
  
Naraku: Snnooorrreeeeee...........  
  
Hojo: *High pitched voice* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Later That Night  
  
*Inu is petting Buyo while sitting in his Detective chair in his office*  
  
Inu narrating: Well, I guess everything turned out okay. After he woke up, Naraku went home to his...uh,   
  
loved ones....... *Muffled laughter*  
  
Naraku: *Gasps when he sees Kagura, Juuroumaru, and everyone else on the floor with MAJOR hangovers* OH  
  
MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?! You are SO cleaning this up young lady....  
  
Kagura: *Yawn* Naraku? Y-you're home? How the hell did THAT happen?  
  
Naraku: Well, no thanks to YOU I had help from a certain someone.....  
  
Kagura: InuYasha?  
  
Naraku: *Jumps* Aahhh! Where?! *Begins a Kung-Fu defense stance*  
  
Juuroumaru: *Stretches out* Ah! That was SOME party.....Naraku? You....survived?  
  
Naraku: *Crosses arms* Yeah, I did. *Sarcastic voice* Oh, by the way....I just wanted to thank you guys   
  
for ALL of your HELP and SUPPORT to try to get me back home.  
  
Kagura: *Smiles and puts her hand to her head and salutes him* Aye-aye sir! T'was no trouble at all!  
  
Naraku: *Rolls eyes* I have created idiots.  
  
Inu narrating: Sesshoumaru went back to Rin and Jaken.....   
  
Rin: SESSHOUMARU-SAMA! *Hugs Sess* You back!  
  
Sess: Jaken. Is there some reason why you did not send any money or help to rescue me?  
  
Jaken: Aye, me Lord. I just thought that YOU wouldn't NEED rescuing since you are so strong and....  
  
Sess: Jaken?  
  
Jaken: Yes?  
  
Sess: Shut up.  
  
Jaken: *Quietly* Aye, me Lord.  
  
Inu narrating: Kouga went back to his tribe.....   
  
Wolf-Demon #1: Kouga, you're back!  
  
Wolf-Demon #2: He left?  
  
Kouga: YES! I WAS KIDNAPPED BY A FUCKIN' PSYCHO!  
  
Wolf-Demon #3: Did you bring us food?  
  
Kouga: Grrrrr.  
  
Inu narrating: Bankotsu went back to his tribe.....  
  
Bankotsu: Why isn't anyone here? *Sees a piece of paper lying on the ground and picks it up* Blah, blah,   
  
blah, "It's party time! Come to Naraku's castle for drinking, games, burning effigies, and   
  
whatever you want to happen! PS: NARAKU'S NOT HERE! ~ Kagura & Kanna."........So they're at   
  
Naraku's?  
  
Later at Naraku's castle  
  
Naraku: *Painting his toenails* AND DON'T FORGET TO DUST THE CEILING JAKOTSU! I'M WATCHING YOU! *Looks   
  
at his TV* Wow, I never knew "The Young and the Restless" was so interesting.....  
  
TV actress: Don't leave me, you can't leave me........I'M HAVING YOUR BABY!  
  
TV actor: Sorry, but I'm leaving you for your twin sister!  
  
TV actress: But she's dead!  
  
TV actor: Yes, but that doesn't matter....*Puts fist on his chest* because love will always triumph!  
  
Naraku: *Sniff, sniff* He's SUCH a saint! I hope he ends up with Cher....  
  
Bankotsu: *Walks in with seaweed in his hair and is soaking wet* Jakotsu, Renkotsu! You are SO gonna   
  
PAY for this!! *Drip, drip*  
  
Jakotsu and Renkotsu: *Sweatdrop* =^_^=U Uh, heh heh....  
  
Naraku: Sshhhh! Keep it down, I'm watching my soaps! *Looks back at his TV* .....You GO Linda!  
  
Bankotsu: What the hell is he talking about?  
  
Kagura: I don't know. He's been staring at that piece of wood ever since he got back, I think there's  
  
something REALLY wrong with him.  
  
Jakotsu: You mean there wasn't anything wrong with him BEFORE?  
  
Kagura: *Giggles* Don't let him hear you say that!  
  
Naraku: *Still staring at the piece of wood* Poor Linda. *Starts balling like a baby* HOW COULD YOU DO  
  
THAT TO HER, LANCE! YOU ARE SUCH A BASTARD!!!  
  
  
  
Inu narrating: and Hojo....or Hojina, or whatever you wanna call that dumbass, ended up in a sanitarium.   
  
Kagome had him commited to one when she got back home. She said she'd visit him once in a while.   
  
I don't know why, he's a total nutcase. When those people came to take him away he was screaming   
  
something about yellow toads and to kill the moon 'cause it laughs at him. THE MOON LAUGHS AT   
  
HIM?! Well, I do too. Don't you? Well, maybe I'll go there one day with Kagome and ask him about   
  
it......well anyway, I, InuYasha the Detective, have solved my very first case with noone's   
  
help at all.....  
  
Buyo narrating: Meow?  
  
Inu narrating: What? I did.  
  
Buyo narrating: MEOW!  
  
Inu narrating: I never ASKED for your HELP!  
  
Buyo narrating: MRROOWWW!  
  
Inu narrating: I COULD'VE SOLVED IT ON MY OWN!!!  
  
Buyo narrating: MMEEEOOOWWWWW!!!!  
  
*Buyo leaps at Inu's throat, scratching and biting*  
  
Inu narrating: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO, BAD BUYO! AAHHHHHHH! AHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
NO, NOT THAT, DON'T GO DOWN THERE! THAT'S NOT FOR KITTIES! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! DON'T HURT THAT!   
  
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! BBBBBBBUUUUUUUYYOOOOOOOOO!  
  
~THE END (Of this case)~  
  
Yes, you heard me. I thought of a bunch of other cases for Inu to handle. This is not the only one.   
  
Didn't you notice how I wrote CASE #1 instead of CHAPTER #1? Yes there is a case number two! and  
  
three, and four, and....well, you get the idea. I've already written Case #2 but I might edit it   
  
and make it longer or change it or something. Well anyway, I just wanted to say that there are  
  
multiple cases for Detective InuYasha .....SO DON'T WORRY, IT'S NOT OVER YET! The fun is just  
  
beginning, MWAHAHA! But, I'm gonna have to stop writing fics for a little while 'cause I gotta   
  
study for my GED so mom can stop bugging me about it. Oh, one more thing. I just wanted to say   
  
that this wasn't my origional version of the story. In the origional version I was the kidnapper   
  
but I thought the ending sucked so I decided to try to change the story and that didn't work, so  
  
I decided to just change who the kidnapper was.....I went through Sango, Kaede, Rin, Kagome, and  
  
a few others but those didn't work either and then I thought of another one, Kagome's mom.   
  
Seriously, who would suspect Kagome's mom? Anyway I asked my mom who would be the last person   
  
that she would suspect to be the Bishounen Kidnapper and she said, "Um, Hojo?" and we just   
  
couldn't stop laughing so I decided to use that one. So, thank you for the idea mom! Well anyway   
  
don't forget to review! *Takes out hypnotic coin* You WILL review my fic.......flames are still   
  
welcome......read....review.....read....review...... 


End file.
